Lessons learned...

After reflecting on the past thirty years of ministry, I offer the following observations on life, faith and learning:

1. Age 25-35 

Our first Church appointment was with to a 'young' 65 year old congregation in Mt Roskill which had become affectionately known as "Dirty-Duck Chapel", being bear the confluence of White Swan road and Richardson. Long a 'preaching station' for Theological students, my own Dad can remember catching the tram down to the end of Dominion road and walking the dusty track to the small weatherboard Chapel...

• We were pretty 'green' in those days, but ever hopeful and looking for God to do great things... with our existential and essential help, of course!  We worked hard, played hard (running marathons etc.), and found time to conceive three children, demolish and re-build the church, build our own first home and connect in new ways with our local community.

• Somewhat inevitably all this activity and stress led me to the edge of burn-out and ministry fatigue.
• Fortunately I was introduced to the Contemplative world of retreats and spiritual direction, which probably saved my ministry bacon, so to speak.  I have observed that most of the causes of stress and conflict are not externally generated, but rather are internal responses to circumstances or crises encountered along the way. Friedman was right - the best gift a leader can give is to be sufficiently self-differentiated so as to be a calming presence in the midst of an anxious system (Generation to Generation)
• Our own family system was challenged when our youngest was born with a genetic condition (Down Syndrome)which required considerable time and energy, emotional adjustment and theological reflection (Why?)
• The other significant development was the formation of some long-lasting friendships along the way - we are still connected with many of those who were part of our lives during these years and regularly meet as we are able, picking up where we left off and comparing notes!
• In the early 90's we responded to a call by another smaller congregation; in hindsight probably as a way to find some relief for the strain of an intense period of ministry.  I think at the best of times we are a mix of motives and rationalisations, seeking to accurately discern is a fraught business!  Our choices are influenced by a whole range of emotional, psychological, spiritual and sometimes financial factors - but it does appear that God, in God's gracious wisdom, allows us to participate in the creative processes of life and to still find fulfilment and satisfaction (Dance to the Music of the Spirit)
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